Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Real Confession....

I'm going to take a cue from my good friend Shari and actually post something on my blog a bit more personal. I guess I'd like to find a fine balance of joy from posting Happy Holiday stuff and Happy Life stuff!
I'll be honest, I'm taking a Facebook break and since I can't be heard that way, I'm sure this is my way of getting around the system and being heard somewhere. It also comes from a lot of pondering before and after the election. Please, please don't run away just yet. It might touch on some touchy topics, but hang in there..I do have a point.

My conflict today...surrounding yourself with others that are like minded. Most are taught that surrounding yourself with like minded individuals and those with the same moral values has an obvious outcome. Mostly positive, if you are following the straight and narrow path and negative if you are going off the beaten path. Some live Black and White lives this way, I've always been a bit of a grey I would say. I've always taught my daughter to not limit herself to like minded individuals, but to be cautious. She's now 17 and I've been lucky enough to see how she has blossomed into someone that almost anybody can talk to and I'd like to think I've had something to do with that. A lot of people ask us, how can we be LDS, love gay people, but still not believe in gay marriage? But if we are here to do Gods work and to preach the gospel unto the world, then how can we do that without loving others? Do I believe personally in gay marriage..NO. Do I believe in loving gay people the same as others...Absolutely. If my gay best friend came to me tomorrow and said, I'm getting married, would I support him..Yes. Does that pull me away from my faith in any way...Absolutely not. His relationship with god and my relationship with our own personal relationship. God is our judge, not the people in the church or out of the church. So much hatred comes from both sides of the spectrum on this, it just makes me confused at why others don't think like me. To's a given, but people on the left think we should accept everything and people on the right think we should accept nothing.Or at least, that's what we're made to believe as a society.

Some must learn from doing, from participating, from seeing the best and the worst. Why did I let my daughter go to a rave several years ago? To see the worst. Why do I let my daughter go to some concerts that might not be considered appropriate by some? Why did I not loose it when I found out she's had one sip of alcohol in her life or has been around others with drugs? My daughter just happens to be one of those people who needs to experience life lessons head on! I didn't know that in the beginning, but it didn't take me long to figure it out.  I've been lucky, very lucky, but was it the right choice? I say, she's an example to others as well. Did she set an example by falling down, picking herself back up and walking away? Did she make a difference in a young mans life, when all else had given up on him? The outcome of that is still yet to be determined, but something along the way told me I was doing an okay thing by letting her be his friend still. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, has an evil sense of humor and shares her faith openly.

Now this is what I'm fighting with internally. I've always thought of myself as an "open-minded" person. I try not to judge others and I try to have open topics of discussion, but I find as I get older and find myself more passionate about some issues, that I'm getting less tolerant. The emotions that come with it are confusing to me. Ultimately my love for our heavenly father is first and the love of my country comes a close second. After the election, I'm walked away with a deep feeling of division. I don't see myself as some radical, I just see myself as a passionate American. Do I run away and put myself in a bubble with others who only think like me or dig my heels in and speak up? Will I offend others, like I've been offended? I've always preached that things aren't so Black and White..because I've always lived my life with a belief that their is always an exception that makes life GREY!   Where is the balance of having a passionate view, without crossing the line? How much action is to much action? Does it cause more hatred or does it make a real difference? But right now, I don't know.....and it sucks feeling this way!